In typical comedy-of-errors fashion, they almost don’t connect during this poignant love scene, but the audience knows these two are meant for each other. Finally Emma tells Mr. Knightley she was rude to cut him off, and anything he wishes to tell her, she will listen to with respect. Knightley says some unforgettable words:  “Emma, you always want to keep me as your friend, but I hope someday to call you something much dearer than a friend.” At that moment Emma realizes for the first time that her love for Mr. Knightley—her best friend—is actually reciprocated, and she may at last call him “my Mr. Knightley.”

There’s a sweetness to the scene that’s hard to surpass in literature or film. But the truly thrilling moment comes when Knightley finally breaks the barrier between friendship and romance by declaring his love for Emma. And, men, that’s exactly what we women are longing for you to do with us, to let us know you’re wanting to take the relationship to the next level. Granted, the situation can be tricky when it comes to letting a guy or girl friend know you’re interested in much more than palling around for the rest of your life. Yet who wants to risk losing a potential mate just to save face? At some point we all have to decide a certain risk is worth the taking—as the commercial says, “Life comes at you fast.”

Ironically, single Christian men echoed the same “friend” complaint that many women offered, but with a twist—while women complained that the men friends they want to be with won’t “step up” (read:  take the relationship beyond friendship to dating), men complained that many women only want to be friends when they show romantic interest in them. Much of this may be a classic case of unrequited love, but I wonder how many couples never get together simply because one person never finds the courage to tell the other that, like Knightley, he/she hopes someday to call the other much more than a friend.

Tips for Shy Guys

I’m tempted to think the bolder men reading this don’t need any cues for how to pursue a woman they like, but my single friend David tells me almost every guy has insecurities when it comes to women. So here goes. I informally polled a handful of single women friends asking them how a man might let them know he’s interested. Their list included the following:

• If you’re in her network of online friends, establish rapport through email or IM first, and then ask her to meet you for coffee (social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace make connecting easier, and you can “hide” behind the written word until you get a yes … or no).
• If you have a mutual friend, let him/her know you’re interested in an introduction with said person that includes the three of you. Believe me, you’ll find out fast if she’s interested too.
• If you know her phone number, send her  a friendly—but ever so slightly flirty—text message.
• Ask the waiter serving her table to send over her favorite dessert (or drink) with your name and phone number and/or email address.
• If you work together, find ways to have casual conversations (near the water cooler, in the break room, working on projects together) until you break the ice. Then ask via email if she’d like to go to lunch sometime, your treat.

Of course, there’s no guarantee of success with any of these strategies, and they all still carry the risk of rejection, but trying and perhaps failing is better than never trying and surely failing. And the good news is you just might be pleasantly surprised.